I don’t intend on being vile, but the start of my UNA-USA experience was in the men’s bathroom at school. Small puddles of what very well may have been urine served as a carpet to the plaque covered tile floor. I sort of felt like a cocaine-addicted businessman trying to get dressed for that big important meeting with the big whigs who carried around those expensive pens.

            Our departure was swift and smooth, and the ride aroused in me a childlike amazement over the city. Lots of “ooo-ing” and “ahh-ing” going on in the back seat as I took in every bump so graciously given to me by the NY DOT. Thoughts of Barack Obama’s appearance in New York bounced around in my head in tune with the bumpy ride. Coincidentally, I had also been given intel that said that Lady GaGa, Elton John, and The Police would be performing at The Garden. A cornucopia of some of the world’s most respected (and perhaps not so respected) people on this side of the equator. Traffic would be especially expletive arousing on this day..joy!

            The things that kept our motley crew happy on the bus included hipster-spotting, jests about the NYPD, and the occasional taking in of the bohemian scenes of the city. Notable memories include a hipster, aged somewhere around 28 to 30, wearing the signature American Apparel purple salt and pepper hoody. He had those horn-rimmed, thick glasses, and probably smelled like green tea or marijuana, but I can’t confirm that last part. Nonetheless, this concept of “hipster spotting” has almost become a pastime in my circle of friends. Who needs baseball, when you’ve got the modern-day bohemians lurking the streets of New York!

            Next was the real meat of the trip when we touched base at the United Nations in New York City. It’s one of those iconic places that every camera-owning fiend must visit sometime in their pathetic life. Now was my time when I arrived, with the rest of the group, to be put through the routine security check. In such a place, you will find some of the most miserable people in the world who bark orders at you, and make you feel like some terrible fool. This part was not enjoyable, and this is why we shall gloss over it.

            Eventually, we managed to have a short briefing from some lowly, but very hard-working, United Nations employees. The jist I got was that they did all the arduous, important work, while the rest of the general workforce chewed on their $60 dollar stakes and stroked their silk ties. But they were affable folks, and I listened intently, granting just as much respect as Ban Ki-moon.

            When we really got into it, our UN contact told us something that seemed to make things more clear. He first made it clear that what he was about to say was indeed not “politically correct” ,or something that the UN big whigs would every acknowledge, but it was the truth. That truth essentially boiled down to developed nations versus developing, or to put it simply, rich versus poor. All things seem to boil down to that.

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